Ghosts of Christmas Past

Editors Note: We received this very nice essay from one of our favorite correspondents - Dr Bob Gallagher. Many of us will have our memories jogged a bit by his recollections of his Christmas's past. I think most of us will read this and be able to share a smile -- or even a melancholy moment or two -- reflecting on the magic of being a child in holiday seasons past.

Christmas in Pittsburgh

Christmas has past and today I sat around thinking of the images of the Christmases of my youth. Yes, it was a LONG time ago, but the mind is still sharp enough to bring back memories.

A week or so before Christmas our family would drive the 25 miles to the “big city” (Pittsburgh) to take in the Christmas sights. All the department stores would convert their outside display windows into scenes of the season, with electric trains in action, snowy villages and Santa’s workshop showing elves hard at work making Christmas toys.

The sidewalks were crowded with shoppers on their way to find that perfect gift. On every corner would be a young boy with his stack of newspapers for sale. The hustle and bustle of the big city always put us in the Christmas mood.

When I was about eleven or twelve and in the Boy Scouts, we sold Christmas trees as a money making project. It had snowed, heavily, and we were able to just stick the trees into the snow to make our own forest. Trees 6’ and under went for 50 cents and those taller ones were 75 cents. Of course, the man who had the tree sales around the corner, wasn’t happy since he charged $1 per tree.

At our house, we bought our tree and then left it on the back porch for Santa to put up and decorate. On Christmas morning it was such a sight to come down stairs and see the tree and Santa’s gifts to us on display under the tree. I remember that one year he put balloons in the tree as additional decorations.

One of the gifts I always remember was a dart game. You loaded three or four darts into a box that had a reverse periscope attached to it and a lever to release the darts. You stood over the dart board, which was a map of Tokyo, and let those bombs go ! By now, you can figure how old I am.

Another tradition at our house was that after opening all the gifts, my mom and dad would take a very long nap. It wasn’t until later, when I became part of the midnight visit from Santa, for my sister, that I discovered the reason for this traditional “family sleep time”. It seems that after doing all the “Santa” thing at our house, my parents went next door to help with our neighbor’s tree. Their Christmas tradition consisted of starting to drink after dinner and by the time their kids were in bed, the neighbors were pretty much wasted. If it wasn’t for my parents, there wouldn’t have been much of a Christmas next door. Hence the Christmas nap time at our house.

Well, those are some of the Christmas memories I always think about from my childhood. I hope you can sit back and let the memories of your youth pass through your mind and bring a smile to your face.

So, Merry Christmas, even though it’s late.

Bob Gallagher

The Decade Concludes with Jack Bauer vs Santa!

Dear Brouhaha readers;

My Christmas wish for you: despite the frantic pace and anxiety the season of peace brings, I hope you can take 5 minutes to reflect on how far you've come, and embrace the moments of peace you can hopefully find now, and renew your hope for the coming decade.

The past decade flew by. I was just getting used to it and it's gone already. Having seen a decade or two (ahem), I think this past one has offered the worst of times and yet the best of times. At least in my memory.

I just read somewhere that this decade has had fewer natural disasters than the previous one, for instance. Hard to believe calling to mind the tragic tsunamis, devastating earthquakes, horrific hurricanes that drowned and demolished major cities. Not to mention worldwide terrorist attacks and ongoing genocides. For Pete's sake, we've been at war for 8 years of the decade now with no end in sight. Not uplifting events.

But what is uplifting is that this nation has actually elected a black man as President. I was a young child growing up in the 50's. In my lifetime African Americans couldn't use the same bathrooms as whites, the Ku Klux Klan still killed blacks and the whites who supported them with impunity, and basic human rights were intentionally denied to so many.

So Obama's election is a major step forward in recognizing and honoring the uniqueness and basic equality of humankind. Don't unfurl the banner that says "Mission Accomplished" yet because the road ahead for human rights is still long. But this was a major victory for us all, no matter what kind of president he is. I think he will be a good one in that arena as well.

As King Arthur said, this was "one brief shining moment" during a decade when so much hatred was exposed in the name of radical religious fanatics. But, oh, how that moment shines.

But that is not the only thing to cheer about from this past decade. Science and technology gave us wonderful and affordable tools to the common man or woman. Almost any of us can experience and participate in art, photography, music and communication in ways no one could even imagined ten years ago. It makes our lives so much richer! I know the world has become much smaller and my network of fellow travelers/friends on this journey is now worldwide and growing thanks to the miracle of the Internet. Thanks Al Gore! :-)

What can we expect and hope for in the next decade? It looks like we'll make major medical advances because of projects like the Human Genome research will begin to yield results. Will we finally see the end of cancer as we know it now? I think this would be humankind's next great accomplishment. We all know someone who is suffering from cancer or has shuffled off our globe at an early age from the deadly killer. We need to pop open a can of whoop-ass on that bad boy. Also, a little prayer might help as well.

Now for Something Completely Different

In the most bizarre of throwdowns, we've found this wonderful little video on YouTube. It's the classic battle of evil vs. good in a mashup of everyone's favorite rogue agent vs the Jolly Old Elf, himself. Can you guess who wins?

Happy New Year!

The Christmas Letter You Never Got

Editor's Note: At one time or another we've all received the perfect holiday letter from the perfect family. You know the one. Everything is beautiful. The kids are all-star players and honor roll students, the parents are climbing career ladders at breakneck speed, the new custom built house has plenty of room if you want to visit, and the new shore house is just perfect. And in between all the volunteer work at the soup kitchen, not to mention the golf and tennis club charity balls, they want to reach out to you -- the little people they once knew.

Yes, now they reach down to you personally -- even though it's obvious that they send the same letter to everyone. It's not even signed in real ink -- just a "love you -- the [family surname only]". You can't even tell who composed the damn letter so you would know who to blame.

Well, here is Brouhaha's answer to the perfect year end letter. If your life isn't all it should be, just copy this letter to send -- just fill in the names as appropriate.


Hello everyone! Kisses and hugs to you all! Our family had another really great year and I want to share with you just how wonderful our lives are.

If you are reading this family update, it's probably because we were very close with one at one point in our lives but either due to the shallowness of our previous relationship OR our change in social status, we have lost touch. Or maybe you are a family member that no one in the family talks to very often. Whatever! Time to catch up with the our family news!

Not that "things" are the most important things in life, but we are proudest moment in 2009 was when the bank renegotiated our mortgage on our shore house. Thank goodness! I don't know what we would have done this summer! It can get a little warm in Short Hills and you know how crowded the regular beaches get that time of year. Plus can you imagine the pain of having to travel that much farther to the summer country and pool club? Lord-ee me!

Hey, but I still have a bluebird on my shoulder!

Our daughter, Trudy, has just met a wonderful man! As you know she is a real go-getter! She is a management trainee at Hooters and when there was a big golf tournament in town, she met a dashing young man. He's a professional golfer known world-wide, according to her. But you know how modest she is -- she won't tell us who it is! But when the time is right, Trudy says, everyone will know about them! We are very excited for her and hope that wedding bells might be in the future!

As for our son, Butch, is really doing very well in high school. He is the quarterback of the team and has a new girlfriend every week. He has a part-time job selling little boxes of Chicklets gum packs after school and, gosh darn it, it's a real money maker. Wow, are we surprised! He has more money to spend than we do, it's really amazing! But as you know, Butch is a natural salesman with a great personality and wonderful smile. He is saving up to buy a fancy SUV and is on track to earn it in early next year.

By the way, my face lift went so well I've included a photo of how I look now. Don't be jealous, now! All Ralphie can say is "wow, you look like a 25-year-old again." Such a big flirt, eh?

Not everything is picture-perfect though. I want my America back!

I know it's an "Obama-nation" now but enough is enough. We are becoming a socialist nation in the hands of these liberal do-gooding bleeding-hearts! Just when and Ralphie and I are about to start collecting social security and go on medicare (who can afford health insurance - tee hee). Obama and his friends are trying to find new ways into our private lives to tax us. I say just give me my social security check, medicare and medicaid payments and keep big government out of our lives! We wish Ronald Reagan were alive so he could kick the bejabbers out of these do-gooders! Next thing you know, they'll want to take the food stamps away from grandma and grandpa!

That's it for this year! Zip-pee-dee do-dah! Have a happy new decade! Your friends or relatives forever, love you, -- the family.