There Are Still Only Two Possible Outcomes

It's 1971 and I am sick with a very bad cough.  So at the urging of my wife, I visit the New Cumberland Army Depot Medical Dispensary. I am stationed here. I am an Air Force Recruiter here in eastern Pennsylvania.

The dispensary is small, as is the Army Depot, and there is only one doctor here during weekday hours. He is Dr. Wojewicz. He looks to be about 80 years old (to these 23 old eyes). Too old to be practicing medicine I think. And he speaks with a heavy eastern European accent. It crosses my mind that this doctor may have participated in WWII. It also crosses my mind that he could have been on either side.

My concerns are put to rest by the kindly doctor as he asks me "What is you here for?" I explain this brutal cough, and even demonstrate it for him. He listens to my chest, checks my throat, thumps me on the back and says: "you pretty well to me." Embarassed, I hack furiously, hoping some sputum will appear to vindicate my visit to sick call. I don't want to be known as a "goldbrick." But nothing comes up or out. Even my cough is kinda prissy.

The good doctor says: "Okay, G.I. You return to duty." He has obviously deduced I am a malingerer.

"What if I keep coughing?" asks I.

"Only two outcomes," he says, then he winks. "You will either get better, or you will die." He then hands me a bottle of green cough syrup, which is known to servicemen the world over as G.I. Gin.

Ed. Note: G.I. Gin was a term used for Army cough medicine, a combination of 50% grain alcohol, juniper berry flavoring and water and syrup. Soldiers would show up at sick call just to get a bottle of this potent cough suppressant.

Now it's 2009. I had both knees replaced 4 years ago last November. It's a pretty intense experience and I still have to take the prescription drug - Celebrex -- once a day to control inflammation. I have to call for renewal every three months My doctor is a very young, bright, thorough and intensely competent internist from India. I call the doctors office and leave a message for a renewal. I get a call the next day from a nurse who says that the doctor wants me to take a blood test and then come see her before she renews it.

Hmm. OK. She is very thorough, and that a good thing. I arrange for the blood test, take a half day off to go in for it, then schedule an appointment with the doctor.

The appointment day arrives. I am now in the examination room and the nurse asks me why am I here. I tell her. She says the doctor will be in shortly. And she is. She has my chart and is apparently studying it closely.

I am getting a little nervous. "What is it, Doc?" asks I.

She looks at me and puts her hand on my shoulder and says: "Just promise me one thing. "

She now has my complete attention.

"If you ever feel like killing yourself," she says solemnly, "please call 911!"

My mind is now racing. Did my blood test indicate suicide was imminent? Does she think that I will kill myself if she won't prescribe Celebrex? Is suicide a side effect of Celebrex?? And if I am suicidal, I should call 911, not even her? YIKES.

I blurt out "In my darkest days I have NEVER considered suicide! I am here only to get a Celebrex refill!" "Good idea" she says, abruptly leaving the death talk behind. "While you are here, let's get a blood test."

"Uh, I had one earlier this week at your request," I mutter, now wondering whose chart she was looking at. "Oh, yes" she says flipping through the papers. "Here it is. Looks good although your HDL is up a little. You should exercise more often" she advises. "OK," I lie.

Even doctors have off days, and this is one for my normally great doctor. I won't hold it against her. Even though she wants me to call 911 instead of her if I want to off myself!

As she writes my Celebrex script, I ask her what will happen if my HDL stays at this level for any period of time. She smiles. "There are two possible outcomes."

"Don't tell me, I know," says I.

Five People I Met On Earth

Dr Bob Gallagher is a friend of more than 30 years and he is someone I never met personally until a number of those years went by. You see, before there was internet gaming, there was postal (snail mail gaming). There was actually a sizeable number of folks playing games -- all sorts --through the mail, one turn at a time.

And before there were blogs, there were hobbyist home-made newsletters. Yes, the first Brouhaha was a gaming newletter that I wrote, photocopied, collated, stapled and mailed out to as many as 60 gamers.I believe I did this for 3 years or so.

Our friendship started through the mails while playing a postal game called "Diplomacy." It continued over these many years always centered around online gaming activities. I think we've gotten to know each other personally while traveling down some of life's highways.

Although Dr. Bob writes about some famous folks he's encountered in his 70 years, he is quite self-deprecating about his own life. When I first met him postally, he was a dentist then in a suburb of Pittsburgh near the steel industry flourished.. When the steel mills closed down in the 70s and 80's, Bob's dental practice withered up to the point where he couldn't afford to continue it any longer. In his forties at that point, we and wife Karen had 2 kids to support. So they packed everything up in the car (like the Beverly Hillbillies!) and drove south to Orlando, Florida to begin a new life. In true pioneer spirit, and with little else that what they could bring along in that car, they started over.

Since he's been there for almost 22 years now, and he and Karen have done what it takes to raise the family. Bob's been a catalog designer for a plumbing warehouse, a high school teacher, a puppeteer, a wood worker, an actor and most recently, a photographer at Disney World. Karen has worked for the state for many years. Consequently, both their children are college educated and graduated, are professionals on their own. Plus, they now have provided a small flock of Grandchildren.

So, when you read about the people that Dr Bob met along the way that he's admired, keep in mind that he, too, has done some extraordinary "ordinary" things in his life as well. For sure, he won’t become as famous as the people he writes about. But I am not sure any of them have anything over Bob and Karen in courage, responsibility, and hard work.

Where Was My Dream?

by Dr Bob Gallagher

Here are 5 people I’ve known, back when they had a dream of the future, and what they have accomplished.

Mickey Ferrari was three years behind me in high school. We played in a combo that another friend started. Mickey played trumpet and, no he didn’t become a great musician. Mickey loved school and wanted to further his career in college administration. Mickey’s four-year tuition at Michigan State University was $7.25, which went for some type of tax. Dr. Michael Ferrari became

President of Drake University for about 10-12 years and then moved on to Rice University. He now is retired and works as a part-time college administration headhunter.

When I was a dentist, this next individual was a patient of mine when he was in junior high and high school. He always wanted to play quarterback for Notre Dame. He turned down a free pass to play basketball at North Carolina to go to Notre Dame as #7 on the quarterback depth chart. He got his dream and then some as he played a little football in the NFL and now Joe Montana is in the NFL Hall of Fame.


While substitute teaching. (My third career) I had many football players, who had no ambition and were just putting in time until high school graduation. One of them was different. I don’t want to say he was dumber than dirt, but he had a difficult time grasping anything in school. He wanted to play football for Florida State. When there was some “free time” in class, he didn’t goof off, as the other jocks did. He kept trying to understand the work he had to do. Chauncy Davis played at Florida State and now plays defensive end for the Atlanta Falcons.

I met Richard Borg at a miniature wargaming convention. Richard wanted to design a war game that he could sell to a big time game company. He kept after his dream and developed a rules system he called “Command and Colors”. I was a Civil War game and he ended up selling it to Avalon Hill. The then transferred the system to a World War II game, which is now sold as Memoir ’44.

Shortly after I moved to Florida, the local community theater announced auditions for a production of West Side Story. I auditioned, hoping to win one of the four non-singing parts. Since there were only four of us trying out for those parts, it was, pretty much a given to get one. So, I became Officer Krupki. There was a Puerto Rican girl cast as Anita, a very demanding role requiring acting, singing and dancing. I found out that this gal was only a high school junior, attending the local school for performing arts. Just last week I saw that she was named the #6 diva on Broadway for her part in “In The Heights”. Karen Olivo, has since left the show to reprise her role as Anita in the upcoming Broadway revival of West Side Story.

I only wish that I had the same focus and desire when I was growing up, as these five individuals had in their lives.