The Great Colonoscopy Sweepstakes? Can the End Be Near?

Some mighty peculiar things are going on out there. Have you noticed? I don't know if its the economy, global warming, the democrats, the pirates or even the republicans, it is downright crazy. For instance:

Sunset on the Ocean in New Jersey? Seemingly impossible, I snapped this photo at Sunset Beach in Cape May, NJ. Yes, that's the ocean. The sunken concrete ship can be seen in the water. One of the few places on the east coast where you can see the sun set on the ocean.

The CBS Colonoscopy Sweepstakes

You probably think I made this colonoscopy thing up. Really, what kind of crazy, sick people would come up a major sweepstakes where the first prize is a colonoscopy?? Probably the same funsters who came up with the employee of the month grand prize of lunch with the company executives. That's a sure bet to drive performance down in most organizations.

As for the Great Colonoscopy Sweepstakes, they're real and they're spectacular! Go to "CBS Cares." for details and to enter. But there's more (only if you act NOW!).

In addition to the free colonoscopy, CBS will fly you to New York City and put you and one guest up in a fancy hotel for 3 nights. Of course, one of those nights you'll be parked in a beautiful bathroom experiencing the joy of "colon blow" laxative. I speak from personal experience. After 24 hours of enduring this cleansing, you'll be wondering why you brought your best friend/date/spouse with you to share in this adventure, considering the racket you've been causing in the bathroom. Not to mention you'll have spent most of the first day in your glamorous NYC hotel, never wandering too far from the toilet.

You'll emerge from this purifying experience a better person -- and you may even have lost a few pounds! Not just from the colon blow, but you haven't eaten anything for two days now. You'll not allowed. Oh, I guess that means you won't be visiting any of the hundreds of great NYC restaurants the first day and a half or so.

Soon, hopefully, on day 2, after checking in with a renowned NYC gastro doctor, and completing a few brief hours of paperwork and preparation for the procedure, you'll be stretched out on a table with what looks like a garden hose rammed up your butt.

The "whole" event will be "simulcast" on a monitor near you (and hopefully NOT over the internet). Anything that was hiding in there is then removed by a super suction thing, which I could plainly hear even in my half awake condition. Within a half hour or so, they will have had enough of this and be done with you. Out to the recovery room you'll go.

After somewhat of a wobbly wakeup and dress up, you (and your guest if they are still with you) will finally be on your own to enjoy a bite of the Big Apple . Assuming there was good news from the test.

BTW, I signed up for the drawing. Ne'er having won anything of significance my entire life, I feel this could be the one.

More signs of the times: Walking the dog one morning recently, I noticed the newspaper delivery guy driving through the neighborhood. What was so unusual about that? He was flinging newspapers out the window of a late model BMW.

That's the ticket: One of the more active seminar/training communications shops in the nation is offering free airfare to fly to its upcoming 2-day seminar to make it "easier on your corporate budgets." We need to show some love to our downtrodden

On the Bone: A new restaurant is opening in Princeton on Route 1. At least I think it is a restaurant. Not sure what kind of clientele will be attracted by this uniquely named establishment. Fred Flintstone types? Canines? Morally defunct persons of questionable character? Also, I wonder what's on the kids' menu?

Letter to Aubrey

Hey there! You are a day old in this photo and it's about time Grandpa gave you a public hearty Blog welcome to Richmond, Virginia, USA, Earth. Yes, I know you've been around for several months now, but I think you'll agree it is a lot different out here!

You probably noticed it's much colder and louder and -- oh-- those lights! Who turned on all these lights? Ouch.

And I'll bet you a binky that the cafeteria service was a lot more convenient in your last location. There was even free home delivery at Mom's Restaurant. But now you have to work to get your milk on.

Aubrey, I hate to tell you but there is a lot more that's different out here. Some of it is good, some of it isn't too swell. In fact, dear granddaughter, some of it is downright nasty.

But all in all, I think you'll enjoy the trip. I know I have. 

OK, its not all going to be the cream of the milk, if you know what I mean. But. you'll find that there is lots to play with and you'll be able to experience some of the modern marvels soon enough. Something called the "internet" and something else called "miniaturization" has led to all sorts of marvels, I wonder what your Dad's I-phone will look like when you are a teenager. Whatever it looks like or can do, you won't even be amazed like we are now. You will grow up hand-in-hand with tech and you won't know life without it.

So much has changed since Grandpa took his first trip to the world,  it makes my head spin. I can't begin to tell you, and you wouldn't believe, what life was like when I grew up. Someday, when you can pay attention better, Grandpa will regale you many old time stories such as "Did you know we had to walk 12 feet to change the channel on the TV?" Yes, life was harder then.

But there are some things that have changed from when I grew up that Grandpa thinks aren't so good. For instance, you'll have to make decisions about some very serious things at a very early age. Grandpa never found out about most of that stuff until he went to college! Really. College! I'll tell you about some of those escapades later when Mommy and Daddy aren't around. As for you, I hope when you are faced with those choices, you'll draw upon the values your Mom and Dad teach you over the next few years and do the right thing.  

Oh, just reminded myself to tell you later. Aubrey, sweetheart, the North did win the war ... no matter what your Mommy tells you! :-)

What's It Like to be a Grandpa?

Many people have asked me this question and I haven't found the right answer to this question yet. More than anything, when I try to express an answer, nothing comes out.

I guess that's because there is no good answer. I feel a little bit of everything.  The most overpowering emotion was how much joy I felt when I say Aubrey for the first time.  Another moment was when Rita said to me that "the replacements are here."  Yikes, what a feeling of mortality that brings on.  Mos def, I have entered a new stage of life which will be a really great stage.  I look forward greatly to seeing Aubrey grow, and for me to retire, to do more things that I like to do, to enjoy a simpler life.  

And for doing some new things, I don't know what those things are yet.  We'll see what comes around the bend.