Monday, July 27, 2009

Will It Float?

I wanted to do a column on "Will It Float?" subject. But first some explanation. I am not stealing Letterman's lame idea of dropping random items in a giant bowl of water! My idea is more sophisticated.

Some of you hipsters might know there is a running internet You Tube series called "Will It Blend?" For the rest of you that knows not, the joke is that a nerdy middle aged guy named Tom Dickson tries to "blend" all sorts of items in a high-powered blender. He does this on video, of course.

Some of the items that he attempts to blend include pork and beans (in the can, of course), marbles, Bic lighters, glow sticks, a WII controller, and most famously, a working iPhone. His investigations to find definitive scientific answers about what blends defies reason, of course. Tom may have gotten the idea from Dan Akroyd's "Bass-o-matic" advertisement from the 1st season of SNL. Guess what he blends in that commercial?

Just to bring everyone onto the same playing field, I've included one of Tom Dickson's videos.

Now, my take on this is to create a "Will It Float?" series. Why you ask? Because I can't believe some of the flotsam and jetsam that washes up on our beach. The funny thing is some of this stuff really doesn't look like it can float. Like giant truck tires, huge metal bars, very large pieces of everything you can imagine.

But here's the really funny thing. Invariably, the next day that everything that was there yesterday is gone! Disappeared! But the stuff has been replaced with a new assortment! It's almost like God has a truck tire day one day, and a Busch beer keg day the next, and then a giant unrecognizable wood day! The beach is always different.

I took my camera to the beach this afternoon and hoped the giant tire that was there yesterday would still be there. I wanted to photo it with the clever caption "Will It Float?" under it. It doesn't look like it should. And then maybe shoot photos everyday of things that appear to be unlikely floaters on the beach.

Alas, no tire today. In fact, the beach was pretty dang clean. God must have declared a "clean the beach" day. Kills my "will it float joke" and series.

Instead there was this. A fisherman with a very large Bluefish. Come to think of it, this fish is definitely a floater now.

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